Chapter One
What started out as a routine task to find blood turned into an onslaught of pain. I rubbed my eyes, allowing the darkness that filled my head to fizzle away. My hands, tender from scraping against the gravel, grasped at the cold metal fence. I flinched as my cuts burned against the steel. I’d done this to myself. The thumping under my skin and my lack of balance were all a result of ignoring my need to feed.
Now here I sat, watching my blood as it dripped down my leg and pooled onto the sidewalk. A tingling sensation ran through me as I flicked out the tiny shards that had embedded themselves in my skin. My body helped to push them out in an effort to heal itself. This was not part of tonight’s plan. I stared back up at the fence—my nemesis. Razor-sharp wire wrapped itself around the top of the rusty, twelve-foot-high chain-link barricade.
Take the shortcut, Tasi. It’ll be quicker and safer, Tasi. What a stupid idea.
Under normal circumstances, I could dart up the fence, hop over the barbed wire, and gracefully land on my feet. My overall dexterity might have won me a gold medal in gymnastics, but that was so not happening in my current condition.
An ache thundered through my body as I reached for the fence again. I hoisted myself up for the first time since tumbling off. With one last labored breath, I ran my hands down my pants, dislodging the remaining rocks from my newly healed skin. Nearby, a rustling sound echoed through the alley. My breath caught. The metal garbage cans clanked together as if they were being tossed around. If I were human, I wouldn’t think twice about the commotion. Lucky for me, I knew better. It was probably setting up to kill its next victim. There were a few shady-looking dive bars and run-down nightclubs in this area. The repetitive pounding of music stemming from different directions would drown out all screams. This was a perfect feeding ground.
Over the past few months, these creatures had become my reality. Since I was thirteen, I’d known of their existence, but only recently had I been in the same vicinity as them. And when they were around, you didn’t want to be, so it was time to go.
With a quick pivot in the opposite direction, I ran. I didn’t get farther than a few feet before my shoelace caught in the grate and my chin scraped against the ground. More blood dripped from my body.
Tasi, seriously—what else can go wrong?
Wrapping the shoelace around my fingers, I yanked until it released itself. By the time I tucked it into my shoe, it was too late. It had heard me. The pounding in my ears was no longer from the nightclubs but the pavement, and it was getting louder. I’d piqued its interest. Rather, my blood had piqued its interest.
I’d run away enough times in the past that I knew I’d be able to shake the monster. I mustered up as much energy as I could and took off running, snaking through run-down buildings, dodging cars, and running across baseball fields until I thought I had gone far enough. I listened for feet thumping steadily on the sidewalk, but I couldn’t hear my pursuer anymore—good for me; bad for someone else. My weakened state was taking a toll on my body, and I needed to get back to the hole I currently called home. I was just glad I didn’t have to fight for my life tonight. I’m not sure I would have won this round.
When I turned the corner, I saw safety within my reach. The gaudy lights of the motel shone brighter than ever. As I approached the building, a low hum electrified the surrounding air, and the mildewed smells burned in my nose. The grunts and noises that came from each room crawled over my skin. This was not at all a place we should be staying.
When I reached the room, I looked around before opening the door. The glow of the soda machine lit up the silhouette of a couple arguing nearby. On the opposite side, a man wearing boxers and a dirty white tee stood in the doorway, a cigarette hung from his mouth. When our eyes met, he forced a grin, showing his stained teeth. I fumbled with the keys. This week, I had not been careful. Instead, I’d been lazy and hadn’t made smart decisions. This trip could’ve killed me. More importantly, it could’ve killed Emily.
As I passed by her bed, I glanced over to make sure she was still sleeping. If she had woken up and seen I wasn’t there, I don’t know what she would’ve done. There was so much I still needed to tell her. I placed my backpack on the bed before going into the bathroom to clean up.
There was nothing in the world that made me feel more at home than a hot shower, and this was a good one. Warmth wrapped itself around me, giving me a much-needed hug. I watched my feet as the water took all the horrid parts of the night and pulled them down the drain. Reluctant to end such a perfect shower, I shut off the water and stepped out of the tub. A shiver at the quick temperature change made me think getting out was the wrong decision, and I pulled the towel tighter around myself.
I wiped away the thick steam covering the mirror, and there the truth stared back at me. The shower had cleaned up the blood and dirt, but what remained was still unrecognizable. My eyes were bloodshot, and the shadows building underneath them made me appear sick. I looked deeper, hoping to find a glimmer of my old self, maybe a speck of my greenish-blue eyes or just a shimmer of my dark silky hair. Even my freckles, which had been scattered across my face, no longer existed. Nothing was there that reassured me I was still Tasi. I ran my fingers along my pale skin, pulling at it, hoping it would fall off and reveal what used to be. Instead, dark gray eyes stared back at me.
I studied the rest of my face, looking for familiarity—something I did often. I looked well beyond eighteen and seemed to have aged years in only a few months. I braced my hands on the edge of the sink, dropping my head as if it suddenly weighed a hundred pounds.
How in the world was I ever going to get myself together the way I should for Emily? She was counting on me, and I kept making stupid mistakes.
I took one last deep breath, threw on some sweatpants and a long-sleeved T-shirt, then flipped off the light switch in the bathroom. Making my way into the main room, I sat on the edge of the bed. I knew it was time to move on from this seedy motel that had become our home for the past few weeks. The real world scared me, and I was afraid of making the wrong choices.
Sometimes I couldn’t help getting mad at having been raised in such a sheltered environment. Maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad if I had given up a normal life by choice, but that wasn’t the case. I’d had to give up friends, parties, and all the other things that come with being a regular teenager, all for the people I loved—the same people who had ended up lying to me. Now look at what my life had become: I was on the run with my thirteen-year-old sister from someone or something that wanted us dead.
A lump formed in my throat. I crept over to the small table and turned on the lamp. Emily fussed, but her breathing steadied. Turning back to the desk, I stared at the drink I’d made with my newly acquired supplies. It was okay when I put the blood in coffee, but today I’d diluted it with juice. The thought made my skin prickle. I plugged my nose and downed the vile concoction, knowing I had to build my strength again. I couldn’t have any more nights like tonight.
Our aunt, Eva, used to make my drinks. Not knowing what was in my special shakes—as she called them—or how she got the supplies had made drinking it much simpler. I rubbed my forehead to alleviate some of the throbs that appeared whenever I thought of Eva.
She’d raised us because our parents died when Emily was one. Sometimes, I think Emily was lucky not to remember them. There were times we would be in the supermarket or taking a walk, and I’d see someone with long tousled blonde hair. In that instant, I always hoped it would be my mother. But it was always a stranger’s face.
One memory stood out among the rest. My father and our long night walks. I would hold his hand and always ask him why his were so cold. He would laugh and say, “My heart holds all the warmth in the world, leaving the rest of me hard and cold.” I never knew what that meant until I was older.
Reaching into my backpack, I pulled out a beat-up manila envelope. Emily stirred as I searched for a specific paper. It was a letter that had frayed at the edges. A single tear fell onto the page. I wiped it away, smearing the ink. It wasn’t the first smudge, and it wouldn’t be the last.
My Dearest Antanasia,
If you are reading this, we aren’t alive anymore, and you have to take Emily and go. I’m sorry we lied about being dead all these years, but please understand it was safer this way. If Eva doesn’t make it, you must leave Maine. You need to take the money I left you and seek Sonya Bourne in New York City. She will be able to help. Again, I’m sorry, and I love you both very much. Believe me when I say I thought you were safe.
Love always,
Mom
I stared at the paper, running my fingers across my lips. Who are you, Sonya Bourne? How was I supposed to trust someone else after everything that had happened? My parents and Eva had lied to us. They said it was to keep us safe, but even if that was true, my parents had been alive all these years.
I had to remind myself to stop judging what they did because I was doing something very similar to Emily. Since their deaths, Emily and I had moved from motel to motel. At night, I kept Emily in the room for two reasons. First, that’s when the bloodsucking creatures came out to play, and I wouldn’t let them find her. Second, she didn’t know what we were. So I snuck out when I needed to only after she fell asleep. I could imagine the look on her face if I said, “Sorry, Em, I have to stop off at the hospital and pick up blood for lunch.”
Luckily, we were currently in Portland, Maine, and it wasn’t a big enough city to house a large population of monsters, like Boston or New York City. It was just big enough to keep me busy. Tonight was a prime example of why I needed to take care of myself.
I folded the letter back up, shoved everything back into the envelope, and bound it before placing it into the bottom of my backpack once again. I tiptoed over to my bed and pulled back the sheets, and the musty scent filled my nose. I hoped sleep would come instantly, but that was never the case. My nights were often filled with tossing and turning, reliving what used to be. When I was younger, all I’d wanted was adventure, and to see the world. If this was the world and my future, all I wanted now was to go back to being locked up in a house where it was safe.